Disappointment or Joy?

Oh my gosh. I’m nervous/anxious/dying of anticipation here.
It’s not even 2pm yet and I’m so nervous.
I want badly for the appeal to get through but I’m scared that I’ll be disappointed again.
Like the last time for the JAE results, I had already prepared myself for disappointment but I guess when it came, it was still a shock.
I hate it that I have to go through this again and again, testing myself on whether I can handle disappointments. I hope it isn’t so this time. Time passes so slowly, I wonder if I should go back to sleep.
I want my appeal to be successful. But yet if I don’t get it I’ll be disappointed and I don’t wish to experience that level of disappointment again.
Life sure is tough.

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