I don’t understand anything.
People just irritate and piss me off all the time. A few in particular. I swear, tolerating these idiots is a battlefield for me. Like there’s an internal war raging inside of me. I always have to fight within myself, telling myself that I have to keep calm, and not to get angry. And I have this internal war inside of me every day. Every single day, I have to fight within myself not to get angry. I try to remember the words Mozzy told me, remember that I’m not alone (Nick).
My headstrong trait is just like that. If you can’t take it or handle it, then just get lost.
Sometimes I get angry and when I realise it, I tell myself that I can’t. It’s so difficult that my anger can even reduce myself to tears.
Is it wrong to have a headstrong personality? Is it wrong to speak my mind?
I don’t think so.
People misunderstand me and jump to conclusions about me all the time.
And it’s just because I’m not ‘the usual girl’.
I’m different, okay. I’m not girly and I don’t need a man to save me. I stand up for myself but when the whole world’s against you, who will stand up for you?
Say whatever you think.
I don’t think anyone will stand up for me, someone who’s different.
Enaj Haras, what do you think? You know me best because you’re always with me, you always see what I have to endure. You’ve watched me cry into my pillow at night as the tears slowly fall.
You’ve seen me angry so often nowadays. I didn’t even know there was this side of myself. I never had to go to school everyday, feeling like I’m walking into a battlefield. The war only starts when one side crosses the line and in my book, this happens nearly every day. I hate needing to control my temper. This hardly happened to me in Primary school or Secondary school. I didn’t need to go to school feeling like I’m walking into a warzone.
Enaj Haras, I’ve said everything. Do you see what I’m feeling? Help me get through this please.