Father Alex talked to us about discernment today. And that we should start discerning ourselves so we can get closer to God. He also spoke about pride and that we should practise humility. He told us that pride is always the one stopping us from doing things.
Father Alex also told us that whenever we get into a difficult situation, we should always ask ourselves:
What would Jesus do?
And what we think Jesus would do is always the best way because it is supposed to be the most lifegiving way to resolve the situation.
Is this what you had planned for me Jesus?
After the talk Father Alex had given to us, was what I had just experienced supposed to be a test for me? Was it for me to see how I’d react to it?
I think you gave me strength, Jesus. You gave me strength to pick the option that I never would have picked several months ago. Several months ago, a similar situation occurred too but I chose to wallow in my misery and not confront it head-on. I chose self-pity, to nurse a grudge and hate. I chose to run away.
But today Lord, I experienced the exact same feelings I did several months ago but there was something different. I wasn’t afraid to confront the matter head-on now. I wasn’t afraid to speak out my side of the story and clarify the matter. I was quite clear-headed throughout the whole 2 hour ++ episode. I knew what to say and I felt quite calm doing it. When I wrote that I was willing to clarify things as long as it would take, I realised that I meant it and that I was going to fight my way back out of this hole, slowly or for as long as it would take.
I think I wouldn’t have been able to do it without strength from you, Lord. And of course, my mother has been a great help too. Apparently, I don’t conceal my face expressions very well. My mother knew something was on my mind a few minutes after I started eating my dinner and asked me about it.
This proves that my mother, is indeed my best friend and that she knows me so well, I can talk to her about almost anything and everything.
I’m trying to be a better person, Lord. Help me to become one. Please show me my vocation and tell me what you desire me to do for you.
And as I write all my heart out, I close this chapter and hope for a better tomorrow.
Giving you all my love,